2 Peter 3:18
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.
We tend to act as though God were totally unknowable. Yet Peter seems to disagree. It is true that His ways are not our ways; He longs to be known. What are you doing to get to know Him? I was lost. But He sought me out.
I was deep in my addiction. In that season of my life, I was living in a dumpy apartment, along with about thousand tiny roommates with many legs. While the rent was cheap enough, my paychecks were fairly small. Most weeks, survival was a purchase of three boxes of make-your-own-pizza kits for two dollars each. That would get me by for a week with one pizza a day. I had just enough to get by for another month. However, being in a funky depression, I decided to go out with some friends and have a few drinks. That one decision meant that I would not have enough for rent. But I simply did not care. The next morning, I woke up in a pool of my own vomit in my bathroom.
For the first time in a very long time, I prayed.
My life was a mess. I was unemployed, I was about to become homeless, and I had broken contact with my family in a very hateful manner. I felt hopeless.
After cleaning up myself, and my bathroom, I again prayed to a God that I did not believe in to help me. I would need to find thirty to forty dollars to get by for another month. But in that moment, I could not seem to figure out where I would get that. The rent was due in less than a week. I scoured the newspaper to find a job. But I heard a still small voice encourage me to call home.
I prayed again as I picked up the phone. My hateful words had mostly been focused on my mother, so I prayed that my dad would answer the phone, and that he would then talk her into letting me come live with them as I tried to figure out the next steps. I dialed the last number and waited as the phone rang on the other end. Shame and embarrassment crept over me, and I considered hanging up the phone. Pride was consuming me. Something within me kept me on the phone for a few more minutes. Grief struck me as I heard my mother’s voice answering. My dad was at work. After some small talk, I decided that it was unlikely that I would have the courage to ask if I put it off much longer, so I requested that she allow me to come home. There was a slight pause that seemed to be very long. She spoke about some logistics issue but said she could have a room ready for me in three days. Relief swept over me.
Looking back, I realize that the God that I did not know, that I had disrespected in word and deed; had come through and put me on a path toward Himself. He had hunted me down in my dumpy little place and called out to me. I had cleaned up the outside of myself, but He was preparing to clean me up on the inside and set me on a path that is mostly unbelievable.
