Giving these men and women the gift of hope will require you to listen to their story and, at least initially, to not dispute their world view. In thinking of my work with returning citizens coming out of prison, very few admit that they did whatever crime got them incarcerated. Some will admit to doing it but have a great explanation why what they did was justified. To be honest many of these stories and ideas are far-fetched. Often times their stories are filled with contradictions and sometimes bold lies. There will be a time to call them out. But when you first meet them, we must build trust. They cannot believe the hope that you are offering if they don’t trust you. Also understand that many have been telling these stories for so long, that in their minds they are telling you truth. Take your time and listen. Choose to love them at their worst.
I participate with a group called Kairos. One of the main events is Kairos weekend which is a four-day retreat in a prison. Over the course of four days, you get to meet these men and women. On day one, the inmates will tell you pleasant stories and are generally polite. The Kairos group communicates love in assorted ways. On day two, the inmates are testing if you really love them. They will often tell you more about what crime they are in prison for and often share more details than you might want to know. During a recent visit, I figured out that they are testing to see if you love them even knowing the worst part of their past. When they see that we love them anyway and come back on day three, they are a bit confused. It is then that the truth starts to come out. They share the hurts that were the fuel to get them to commit the crimes they are doing time for and a desire to change. Trust is earned by spending time and not giving up on it. This is true for those that are homeless as well. Time is love.
Now this does not mean that we never address areas of virtue and basic areas of dishonesty. There does come a time when the poverty fighter must engage the person with truth. This must be done with a surgical strike. It is very easy to hit them hard with the truth and knock them down. We must confront them with truth in love.
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15
Our goal is to help them mature and grow. They cannot ultimately grow while they are believing in lies. We are working to help them experience healing of poverty of spirit. Lies will kill off life. Truth brings life.
Many times, the poverty fighter is challenged to choose between community and the individual. Some churches define this as social justice versus personal holiness. The poverty fighter must not choose. They must rise up and thread the needle between these two dichotomies. It can be done my friend but it will take great effort on your part. You will feel frustration with the person in poverty as well as with the church that rejects them because of their past. You will often feel alone. But the poverty fighter is bringing life to individuals and the community and God will lead you there.
