I choose to speak the truth in love. This is often not easy. Many years ago, I was working with a young attractive young lady. She was funny, intelligent and single. I often wondered why young Christian men were not going out of their way to woo this woman. Then one day at a staff meeting I happened to be sitting next to her. It was then that I had my first clue into why she was single. She smelled terrible. I had this thought, “If she figured out her hygiene, she could have any man she wanted.” I resolved that I would speak the truth in love to this woman. Throughout the meeting I struggled to think clearly because the stench seemed to be growing. I also began to wonder why nobody else seemed affected by the smelly situation. I figured everyone was just being too nice. Our niceness was a lie. If we really loved her we would lovingly share the truth with her. My next thought was that I would talk to her after the meeting when we got back to our workforce. But what words would I use? Many times, I had these conversations with the homeless women that I was serving but never with a staff person. My brain raced with thoughts on how to best do this. When the meeting ended, I went to my car. The funny thing is that the awful smell was still with me as I walked to the car.
I sat in my car, reflecting on what I was going to say. But the smell seemed to grow when I closed the door. Opening the door I stepped out and checked my shoe and discovered that somewhere along the way I had stepped in some dog doo. Somewhere that morning I must have inadvertently stepped in the pile and did not notice it. So the stink in the meeting was not her, it was me. I took care of the problem and went to work. This whole experience taught me the most important rule about confronting others in love, that is to check yourself first. Very often we do not know that we are the real problem.
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:5
Examine yourself. Doing so will free you to lovingly correct your brother or sister’s flaws. Search your heart. What are your motives for either confronting or not confronting? Are you afraid, embarrassed or do you simply not really love your neighbor? Choose today to speak the truth in love to those you come in contact with. My friend that will make all the difference.
