Nehemiah knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that asking the king for permission to go to Jerusalem was a long shot. He also wrestled with his own desire for comfort. Here he was trusted. While there was the risk of being poisoned, that would be enough for most of us, the risk was slight. Most people that would want to kill the king would prefer to kill with sword or spear. While in the palace, Nehemiah had soft clothes, soft bed and an easy-going lifestyle. In his personal space he could read, visit and enjoy many of the finer things in life. Going to Jerusalem would require risk.
Along the way there could be bandits. The journey itself would include discomfort on a scale that Nehemiah could only imagine. Then once he was there, he knew that he would face drama, politics and danger at every turn. He had watched drama play out in the court, how much more when he was away from the king?
Nehemiah prayed. Most likely the king would say no. If that happened, he could honestly say that he tried. But what did Nehemiah want? Of that part, Nehemiah was certain. He wanted to celebrate Passover in Jerusalem. The idea burned within his heart. This was something he always wanted to experience but he never thought could happen. Now it was possible. Nehemiah prayed some more. Now he prayed more fervently for the opportunity. He decided that he was willing to sacrifice comfort for the opportunity to boldly serve God.
The following day, Nehemiah was in the court watching carefully for an opportunity to share his hopes and dreams with the king. There just did not seem to be an appropriate time to bring up the subject. That very morning the king was hearing stories of illnesses in far off lands, trouble with sewage in a district close by and a wide array of very pressing concerns. How could Nehemiah even consider asking for something so personal in the midst of all of this action?
Discouragement set in on Nehemiah. He was ready to throw in the towel and give up on the dream. What if the king said no? What if the king became angry about the intrusion into more pressing matters? Why would the king care about a defeated land that was so far away? The day grew long and Nehemiah grew more despondent. First the queen and then the king seemed to notice that the cupbearer was distracted. Suddenly, the king became concerned. It is not good for your security to start acting out of sorts.
When the business of the court became more stable, Nehemiah was brought to sit next to the king and queen. “What is wrong my friend?”
