Lottery winners are more likely to declare bankruptcy within three to five years than the average American. What’s more, studies have shown that winning the lottery does not necessarily make you happier or healthier. “Evidence shows that most people who make it to the top one percent of income earners usually don’t stay at the top for very long,” writes The Washington Post’s Jonnelle Marte.
What is panhandling but a version of winning the lottery? We hand them money, clothing or offer one night of shelter expecting that to change lives. Sometimes that happens. But more often than not handing out material items with nothing expected in return reinforces the idea that they have nothing to offer. For the receiver they are strengthened in their belief that they are victims.
A woman drug herself into a shelter where I worked at many years ago. She and her two kids were filthy. She kept a forlorn look with deep sadness. As I typically did, I visited with the children for a moment. Somewhere along the line I made a bad dad joke and the kids laughed initially. But with a glare from mom, they suddenly went back to a well-trained morose look of desperation. The shelter offered showers and fresh clothes, but the mother refused all of the above. The policy of the shelter did require consistent showers and when staff addressed this with her, she decided to leave. Her statement on the way out in effect was that if she and her kids were clean and in nice clothes they could not make as much when they were panhandling. Her assigned caseworker tried to convince her that life could be better and definitely better for her children. The caseworker even gave a minor threat that if child protective services saw her, they were likely to take the children. Nothing worked and we never saw them again.
Over thirty years ago I was volunteering at a shelter. This was my first exposure to the culture of homelessness. While enjoying breakfast with the men we were suddenly disrupted by two men fighting. It turns out they were fighting over who had the right to a specific corner for flying the sign. I went home that day feeling like these folks were hopeless. They were settling for mudpies when a real bakery full of real fresh baked pastries awaited them.
So again, my friends, I come back to the idea that we must help them to rebuild their identity so that they see that they have something to offer. These men and women have experienced failure and disappointment to such a degree that they simply do not believe they have anything to offer. Seek what they can offer and help them to look in the mirror and see potential for a better future. When you do that, you will be attacking the real problem. You will be calling them to reestablish a relationship with who they were created to be.
