Many will look upon those that are living on the streets as having little value and not able to do anything for society. That is true on the left, who often view these men and women as children that must be cared for. Emotionally, for many this might be true. Some studies suggest that people stop growing emotionally at the age where they are first abused or when addiction takes over their lives. The attitudes and behaviors of many on the streets and in our shelters reflect that fact.
Somewhere around 2010, the shelter that I worked at was serving a grandmother caring for her two grandchildren. She had caused quite a stir when an amber alert went out looking for the grandchildren that apparently, she was not supposed to be in custody of, and the alert was broadcast with pictures on the local television station. An alert shelter guest called the police and within moments the shelter was on lock down, surrounded by police, and staff had no idea what was going on. Anyway, apparently, she had worked all of that out. The whole alert stemmed from an argument with the kid’s mother and a couple of months later she was back with the grandchildren. On this stay one evening she had not shown up and so her room would be needed by another mom who was hoping for a place to stay. Our shelter in that town was always bursting at the seams with people in need. Staff went to work in cleaning out the room. It was in the packing room that a pet rat was discovered in a box of her belongings. That particular staff member decided that she would let others take on the packing, and she volunteered to do laundry. The sheets and blankets were washed between every guest. With the new family in the room, a couple of hours later, the grandmother arrived for her belongings. She shrugged off the rat issue but wanted to know about her ten-year-old grandson’s blanket. Looking through her belongings as we helped her load her van, the blanket was not seen. It was then that the staff member doing the laundry realized the blanket was in the load of laundry she had just started. These were front loading washers. While there might be a method to opening a front loader, I did not know how that could be done. I invited her to come back in about 30 minutes when the cycle might be done or she could come back in about an hour and half, and it would be dried and folded. This 52-year-old woman threw herself on the ground and literally threw a tantrum that would rival the best a two-year-old could muster. My guess is that she was first abused at about two.
Part of the challenge is this fact
While emotionally they might be full grown adults with full grown bodies, their emotions are much younger. Sticking them in public housing or getting them started in a program that does not nurture them and move them toward a flourishing full-person type of flourishing would be the equivalent of giving a home to a five-year-old and expecting them to care for themselves. The child would use food stamps to buy junk food and watch tv all day.
We must see these men and women as more than people who just need a handout to survive. Our hearts need to see them as men and women who are emotionally and often socially behind, and we need to ask ourselves what we can do to help them grow and prosper. What can we do to help them become adults?
