How do you look at those in poverty? Do you pity them? Your pity will not empower them to succeed.
Do you think of them as lazy? While that might be true for some, it is not true for most. Imagine that you have applied for hundreds of jobs and been ignored, rejected or the job is not what you expected. The first few times you might still have hope and you might even casually tell yourself, “Well I guess that it is not of God.” How soon though do you start to internalize the rejection. Thoughts shift from “I failed” to “I am a failure.” This self-loathing starts to filter over to other parts of their life. Suddenly they remember all of their failures. A missed free throw, a burned cake a lost friendship. All of these events are suddenly magnified and the person in poverty ceases to care. “Why should I fix up my house or clean up the front yard?” They start to believe that the promise of America that says that if you work hard, you will succeed is a total lie. Metaphorically they throw in the towel. They give up and wait on Uncle Sam to save them. In this despondence they spend the day doom scrolling social media, watching daytime soaps and eating junk food. The more they get on social media and see other people’s faux perfect lives they get deeper and deeper into depression.
Poverty Warrior, step into their life. It is a life of danger. The wounded tend to see everybody and everything as a threat. When you approach them they might just bite you. Hopelessness often looks like hate and violence. However, do not fear, but do approach carefully. Like a knight of old, lift your visor so they can see that you are a friend. Step in and start by taking as much time as it takes to get to know them. Listen to the story of their lives. Ask questions to understand, not to teach. Once they trust and love you they will be open to teaching. That trust often takes longer than you think it will. Remember, they have often been lied to, gotten their hopes up and then were let down. Take your time. Listen carefully and remember as much as you can. Also it is common that if you spend time with them that their story will change over time and contradict past versions of the story. Don’t give up on them. Also don’t try to buy their friendship. Many will let you purchase their attention. But when that happens you will be forced to wonder if they only love you for what you give them. That may not be true but your mind will wander there. Let them buy you things from time to time. That allowance allows you to be equals. That is where real friendship comes in.
